the world is an infuriating place, so what now?

memoriali can’t say that i know what it’s like to keep watching your sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends and cousins put behind bars and/or killed. but i found this gif and i understand a tiny bit of the frustration on dave dennis’ face while giving a eulogy at james cheney’s funeral. (cheney was one of the three civil rights workers killed by the klan on june 21, 1964 while taking part in freedom summer actions.) memorial2

a couple of days ago, i got into some kind of nonsense with a white conservative male who is trolling twitter, specifically the #blacklivesmatter hashtag. when i made a factual argument, backed up by literature from the least biased organization i could find, he replied with some sort of racist graphic, mostly about how liberals cry “racist” when someone disagrees with them. i finally reported him for spam (there needs to be an option for “hate speech”) and blocked him. it was somewhat enjoyable to shoot his vitriol back at him, but ultimately, that’s just a waste of energy. are we really going to change the hearts and minds of people like this? people who are so… dedicated to their hatred and paranoia? i don’t think so anymore. but for some reason, i keep trying…

memorial3every day that goes by, it’s like there’s some new horrible story that i can’t even deal with. earlier this week, the hamilton county coroner determined that sam dubose didn’t have alcohol in that bottle of gin. it was air freshener that’s sold at small neighborhood stores; the people who make it reuse bottles and that one was just still marked “gin.” no words. no words. it wasn’t even open. he wasn’t even violating a law transporting it in his car.

i spend a lot of time these days close to tears – sometimes i can’t hold them back – and raging. just this anger inside of me that feels like it might spill out any time. i’m angry about the assault on black people, on women, on LGBT people, on children, on just… anyone who isn’t a white protestant. memorial4i don’t know what to do with my anger except keep writing and get re-connected with activists here in cincinnati. i have to channel it somehow. i don’t know how the dubose family (or any of these hundreds of families who’ve lost their loved ones to murderers with a badge) is getting through this. their pain must be immense.

 

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the world is an infuriating place, so what now?